Main Bulb aur tu Tube sakhi...!!

Main peela-peela sa prakash, aur tu bhakabhak din sa ujaas,
Main aam pilia ka mareez aur tu gori-chitti mem khaas,
Main khar-patwar avaanchhit sa,aur tu pooja ki doob sakhi,
Main bulb aur tu tube sakhi..!!

Teri meri na samta kuchh,tere aagey na jamta kuchh,
main sadharan sa lattu,mujhmein na jyada kshamta kuchh,
teri to deewani duniya,mujhse jaatey sab oob sakhi,
Main bulb aur tu tube sakhi..!!

Kum voltage mein tu na jaley, tab hi meri kuchh daal galey,
varna hai meri pooch kahaan,har jagah tujhey hi maan mile,
hoon size mein bhi main hetha, teri height kya khoob sakhi,
Main bulb aur tu tube sakhi..!!

Bijli ka tera kharch kum,lekin light mein kitna dum,
soniye, election bina ladey hi jeet jaaye tu khuda kasam,
naiyya meri majhdhar padi, lagta jayegi doob sakhi,
Main bulb aur tu tube sakhi..!!

Tu mehengi to main sasta hoon,tu chaandi to main jasta hoon,
ithhlaati hai tu apney par,lekin main khud par hansta hoon,
Main kabhi nahi ban paaoonga,tere dil ka mehboob sakhi,
Main bulb aur tu tube sakhi..!!

Dhoondtey Reh jaaogey...

Cheezon mein kuch cheezein,baaton mein kuch baatein wo hongee,jinhein kabhi dekh na paaoge,ikkeeswein sadi mein dhoondtey reh jaogey

-bachchon mein bachpan,jawani mein yauwan,sheeshon mein darpan,jeevan mein sawan,gaaon mein akhada,shehar mein singhada,aur pyjamon mein nada,dhoondtey reh jaogey.

Chuudi bhari kalaai,shadi mein shehnai,aankhon mein pani,dadi ki kahani,pyar ke do pal,nal-nal mein jal,taraju men batta aur ladkiyon ka dupatta,dhoondtey reh jaogey.

Gaata hua gaaon,bargad ki chhaon,kisan ka hal,mehnat ka phal,chehekta hua panghat,lamba-lamba ghoonghat,lajja se thartharatey honth,aur pehelwaan ka langot,dhoondtey reh jaooge.

Aapas mein pyar,bhara poora parivaar,neta imandaar,do rupaye udhar,sadak kinarey pyaau,sambedhan mein chacha-tau,paropkari bandey aur arthi ko kandhey...dhoondtey reh jaaoge.

Train Accident

In a terrible accident at a railroad crossing a train smashed into a car and pushed it nearly four hundred yards down the track. Though no one was killed, the driver took the train company to court.

At the trial, the engineer insisted that he had given the driver ample warning by waving his lantern back and forth for nearly a minute. He even stood and convincingly demonstrated how he'd done it. The court believed his story, and the suit was dismissed.

"Congratulations," the lawyer said to the engineer when it was over. "You did superbly under cross-examination."

"Thanks," he said, "but he sure had me worried."

"How's that?" the lawyer asked.

"I was afraid he was going to ask if the lantern was lit!"

The Damsel

There she stood in front of me, draped in a silk saree, personifying beauty and elegance. Her hair were untied and the ear-rings dangling to-and-fro reminded me of the mood swings she commonly had. The smile she had on her face was like sunshine and the way she carried herself had me into complete frenzy. As she stepped forward, a gush of wind blew her hair exposing her soft wheatish cheeks and I gaped at her foolishly. There was subtle mystery in her black eyes which was hard to read from behind the black frame glasses she wore. She had an aura of freshness just like the morning dew that shines like a diamond. 

As she was approaching me, my heart was pounding even faster. I had never felt like this before. My adrenalin flow had doubled and my tongue was simply stuck in my mouth. I knew her very well and we had been good,if not best of friends. But the feeling here was different..!!

     As she stood next to me, I was mesmerised by the perfume she wore. With a sparkling twinkle in her eyes she questioned me, "How am I looking dear ?" That was all..!! 

             After all the description I have given here, it should have been a cake walk for me, but it was not. I was a dumb***. This was a great opportunity, an opportunity to let my expressions flow like an unending stream, and all I could muster was "Great"..!!  Now here lies the entire irony of male gender(majority) not being able to express their feelings. There stands a most charming and exquisite lady, for whose admiration one could write epics, and when she questions you about her looks, all she gets is a "Great" which sounds better with Alexander or Akbar..!! 

     The fact is that the person is so spellbound, he falters, he stammers and he ends up messing the entire situation thereby closing all the doors of possibilities.

HORSE AUCTION

Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as the father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horses' legs, rump and chest.

After a few minutes, Little Johnny asked, "Pop, why are you doing that?"

His father replied, "Because I'm thinking of buying these horses."

Little Johnny looked worried and said, "Then I think we'd better hurry home right away!"

"Why?" his father asked.

"Because the UPS man stopped by yesterday, and I think he wants to buy Mom!"

A Bar Story

This guy goes to a bar that's on the tenth floor of a hotel. He sits down and has a couple of drinks, then stands up, announces loudly that he has had enough, and goes over and jumps out the window. Now, there are two men who are sitting at a window table, and having that natural human curiosity about the grotesque, watch as this man plummets to certain death. However, just as he is about to hit the ground, he rights himself, pulls his feet underneath himself, and lands gracefully. He then turns and comes back into the building. Naturally, the two men are amazed. The guy comes back into the bar, orders a few drinks, then repeats the process. The two men at the window seat are astounded! When the guy returns and repeats the procedure AGAIN, the two men stop him before he jumps and ask him how on earth he does that. He replies "It's simple, really. There's an air vent down by the ground, and if you catch the updraft, you can right yourself and land on the ground with no problems." Then he proceeded to jump out the window again. Well, these two men decided that they just HAD to try this, so they jumped out the window, and SPLAT! -- made a mess hitting all over the ground. Meanwhile, the first guy has made it back up to the bar. When he sits down to order his drinks, the bartender says "Superman, you can be a real ------- when you're drunk!"

THEIR SONS..!!

These 4 pals go out to play golf one sunny morning. One is detained in the clubhouse, and the other three are discussing their children while walking to the first tee.

"My son BIll," says one, "has made quite a name for himself in the home-building industry. He began as a carpenter, but now owns his own design and construction firm. He's so successful in fact, in the last year he was able to give a good friend a brand new home as a gift."

The second man, no to be out done, tells how his son began his career as a car salesman, but now owns a multi-line dealership. "George is so successful, in fact, in the last six months he gave his friend two brand new cars as a gift."

The third man's son, Albert, has worked his way up through a stock brokerage, and in the last few weeks has given a good friend a large stock portfolio as a gift.

As the fourth man arrives at the tee, another tells him that they have been discussing their progeny and asks what line his son is in.

"To tell the truth, I'm not very pleased with how my son turned out," he replies. "For 15 years, Frank's been a hairdresser, and I've just recently discovered he's gay. However, on the bright side, he must be good at what he does because his last three boyfriends have given him a brand new house, two cars, and a big pile of stock certificates."